Doubts of a marathoner

I’m not gonna lie, I’ve had some doubts, running the marathon doubts, doubts that were hollering in my head last night while running alone in the dark in the nasty areas of town with an ankle that seemed to get more and more tender with each cycle of the leg. And had I not run into one of my favourite running chicks before going home last night, a good portion of my blog would have been all about those ever increasing doubts. Instead, you get to read about them tonight.

My inner ankle, as I’ve written about a few times already, has been suffering tenderness. Some runs it feels as though there’s a knife being twisted around and around and around, and others I hardly feel anything at all. (Oh how I do so love those runs.) It’s been this way since before the marathon, when I started kicking my ankles, but I thought once I had my jammed up ankles reefed out, it would get better. It hasn’t. I’ve gone to physio, I’ve had it ultrasounded, I’ve had it massaged, I ice it every morning, sometimes multiple times a day, but it doesn’t go away. Both Mario and my moms have suggested I get it x-rayed, which builds up my doubts even more. Should I really be starting in on marathon training with a mucked up ankle? Am I just going to make it worse by continuing on these runs? But if I don’t do this training, what then? I can’t exactly stop running, that’s not an option – I need those damn endorphins! See, doubts every which way I turn.

TONIGHT’S PILATES:

  • 6:20 p.m. BG before: 7.8 (granola bar, bolused  .45 units = not enough)
  • Temp basal: -50 per cent
  • One hour: mat, reformer, chair, abs
  • 7:30 p.m. BG after: 10.0 (BG correction: 1.10)

My ankles were working so hard tonight, they were practically convulsing when I was doing the hundred. My pilates chick told me they were talking to each other. If that was talking, they must have been seriously arguing, close to fisticuffs even, because they were shaking to beat all hell.

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One response to “Doubts of a marathoner

  1. Hey Katie,
    Great blog! I read it from time to time! You are really inspiring, especially because you tell it how it is. People need to know if you want something, it takes a lot of hard work, including all the highs and lows of training.
    My advice to you (and you can take it or leave it!), go and get the x-ray. No sense in pushing through the pain before exhausting all possible treatments. It could be something minor, or it also could be something like a small stress fracture. A bit of rest could fix it but if you keep pushing through the pain could actually make it worse.
    Through all my years of training for speed skating, I have been a strong supporter of QUALITY over QUANTITY! You have already built a strong base with your previous marathon training and if you do need to take a little time off it won’t be hard to get it back. Better to miss a few weeks then a few months 🙂
    Now having said that…. I should take some of my own advice! I also really want to train for a marathon but I have just had a baby. I’ve recently gone out for a few runs and they are incredibly sloooow! and painful! I know deep down somewhere within, that base is still there. I just need to work through the first couple of weeks of terrible running to find that comfort zone again.
    Anyway, I wish you luck with your ankle(s) and your training!
    Alanna

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