Cirque du Soleil delivery

If you saw this flashcard, what would you think was being asked of you (Take note: It will be interesting to see the differences between the male and female answers):

During a recent prenatal class, flashcards were handed out for us moms-to-be to practice different pain-abating positions to help during the dreaded delivery (which seems to get more and more dreadful with every prenatal class I attend). When Big Ring picked this one up, he told me I had to get on the ball, flat on my back, feet and arms in the air, all acrobatic style. I gave him a questioning look, like are you kidding me, I can barely get out of bed on my own, how the hell am I supposed to manage this? But he was adamant, this is what you have to do, he said; I’m sure silently laughing his ass off that he didn’t actually have to do it himself.

I sat on the ball, stared at the card, absolutely amazed that I was expected to do such a thing. Big Ring started to encourage me, just lie back, he said, give it a go. And just as I was about to give in, a flash of Pilates exercise gone by rushed through the darkness of my hippocampus.

Wait a second, I said. I shifted the card counterclockwise, and voila:

While a ball squat is still not all that comfortable with a ginormous pregnant belly before me, it sure as hell beats breaking my neck trying to perform a pregnant chick’s version of Cirque du Soleil!

So, I ask you, what did you think I was supposed to do?

Cirque du Soleil delivery was first published June 21, 2012.

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