Cirque du Soleil delivery

If you saw this flashcard, what would you think was being asked of you (Take note: It will be interesting to see the differences between the male and female answers):

During a recent prenatal class, flashcards were handed out for us moms-to-be to practice different pain-abating positions to help during the dreaded delivery (which seems to get more and more dreadful with every prenatal class I attend). When Big Ring picked this one up, he told me I had to get on the ball, flat on my back, feet and arms in the air, all acrobatic style. I gave him a questioning look, like are you kidding me, I can barely get out of bed on my own, how the hell am I supposed to manage this? But he was adamant, this is what you have to do, he said; I’m sure silently laughing his ass off that he didn’t actually have to do it himself.

I sat on the ball, stared at the card, absolutely amazed that I was expected to do such a thing. Big Ring started to encourage me, just lie back, he said, give it a go. And just as I was about to give in, a flash of Pilates exercise gone by rushed through the darkness of my hippocampus.

Wait a second, I said. I shifted the card counterclockwise, and voila:

While a ball squat is still not all that comfortable with a ginormous pregnant belly before me, it sure as hell beats breaking my neck trying to perform a pregnant chick’s version of Cirque du Soleil!

So, I ask you, what did you think I was supposed to do?

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4 responses to “Cirque du Soleil delivery

  1. Oh good Lord…Big Ring is going to be your “go to guy” in the delivery room. Make sure you place my number on your speed dial. 🙂 Knowing you as well as I do….you’ll do more than fine with any pain you may come across in the delivery room.

    • Yeah I was thinking the same thing Lori 😉 Although, I am beginning to reflect on my marathons and thinking if I could get through those two incidences of hell, surely I can do this… I hope!

  2. But think how easy the baby would just shoot out in the horizontal version! 😉

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