Ugh. I had a different post planned for today, but then yesterday happened and I couldn’t possibly not document the event. Negative or not.
Yesterday (I can’t even call it morning) I got up at 4:30 a.m..
For a run.
Are you freaking kidding me? Who the hell’s bright idea was that?
Oh right. Mine.
Following Monday’s glorious revelation that I was on the mend, I thought for sure I’d be good to go for Wednesday morning too. But instead of taking it easy, as was initially planned, I thought, well, hey, I could probably get back on with my training program, and seeing as how Wednesday’s run was to be a 60 minute run, 40 minutes of which were at tempo pace (5:00-5:15 min/km) I needed to get up earlier to ensure I’d be back and showered before Little Ring woke from his evening slumber. So, 4:30 it was.
And you know what? It’s pretty darn dark at 4:30. And when you see a guy sitting on a bench next to the playground, or a dude standing outside his parked vehicle with the motor on, no one else in sight, I got to say, worst thoughts come to mind… or maybe that’s just me. Oh and hey, those visions captured out of the corner of your eye, they may just be hallucinations, but by gawd, they get your heart pounding full of fear nonetheless.
I couldn’t find my good headlamp, and was forced to use this one, which, let me just say, is absolutely useless!
Now, maybe my super early morning running experience would have been different had I not had such a troublesome run. Maybe I would have actually enjoyed it and not thought my life in danger every stride of the way. But alas, that was not to be.
From the moment I started running, there was pressure, not hammers, but an uncomfortable pressure that had me questioning whether I should be continuing or not. In hopes of it alleviating, I kept going. I tried to keep my form proper, I tried to quicken my foot turnover, I tried to get my pace up, but none of it worked. The pressure was not dissipating.
Not even 20 minutes in, I stopped.
- 4:30 a.m. BG before: 6.9
- Temp. basal: none
- Carbs: 1/2 Bonk Breaker bar (17g) with bolus
- Time: 16:49
- Distance: 2.88 km
- Average pace: 5:50 min/km
- Average cadence: 84 spm
- 6 a.m. BG after: 4.1
And now, I don’t know what to do. I don’t know why the pressure was there this time but not the last time. I don’t know why Monday’s run was so great, and this one so abysmal. I don’t know if I should have kept going or if I was right to stop. I don’t know if I should keep trying or take another week. I don’t know what this means for my training.
Which sucks given last week’s confidence 😦
No idea why your run wasn’t great but just wanted to say…stay safe out there in the pre-dawn hours. I used to run in the morning before work and got freaked out one morning when a guy crossed the road so I would have to run past him. I crossed the road and passed him on the other side of the street and saw that it was an old man out for a morning walk but boy did it freak the heck out of me. No more running alone before dawn for this girl.
It’s crazy how much a difference a 1/2 hour will make in a run. I go out at 5:15 all the time and don’t really have any fears. But that early, I was full of fear!
I can understand the frustration. It sounds like maybe you need to remember why you run in the first place, try and make it fun again. If you put too much pressure on yourself and follow a regimented training schedule, it can be overwhelming and running loses all its joy. Good luck, take a breath and just go on a run where you try not to think about pace, time, distance etc.
I was going to go comment on your previous post about how awesome and cute you look with your happy running smile. Then I read this and I’m all like… uhhhm….. that’s really unfortunate.
You are strong and persistent. I’ve already seen you overcome so many injuries as you will overcome this one. Shit just takes time. Slowly. Easing back….
Maybe it had something to do with your mindset and the creepy dudes (that would fill my head with awful pictures too). Maybe it was too early for your body? blame it on that. You’re body freaked out. Mm..hmm.
You will get there. trust me.
Yep, totally blaming the creeping dudes, I mean seriously who in their right mind is up that early? Oh right. Me 🙂 Thanks for giving me a better place to put the blame!
I can feel your frustration and totally sympathize with you. I wonder as well if your mindset had something to do with your run turning out this way. Nevertheless, it is good that you listened to your body. You a strong runner and like all runners just want to run! Take the time to heal, it will be worth it 🙂
Thanks Jocelyn! You’re right, I do just want to run and that’s what’s frustrating the hell out of me… I’ve never been good with the whole patience thing 😉