Getting my freak on

Okay, I am officially freaking out. My stomach is in knots, my throat is churning, my self-doubt is in overdrive. And I know, I know, I had this thing called a backup plan in the works, but when everyone else around me is filling up their taper down with at race pace runs, and I’m left stuck to the couch with my leg straight up in the air, compressed and iced to the nines, because I’m too damn chicken to go out for a run, how can I not be fretting in overdrive? Seriously? I know I’m not going out there looking for a super speedy time, but I did train for a 4:15, and now I look at that race pace pace and I think holy smokes how am I going to run that? Crud. Crud. Crud. Stupid knee!

On the upside, though, I’m not alone. I know I shouldn’t find happiness in other peoples’ terror, but it kind of makes it feel a little bit better … does that make me a horrible person? Case in point: My super duper favourite ironchickie friend, who is crazy amazing, and is competing in the Kona Ironman in Hawaii the day before my marathon, a race that she had to qualify for, and in qualifying totally kicked major ass at, and yet, she too is “terrified” about her upcoming race. And a little bit of the weight was just taken off my shoulders knowing that. Thanks Hilz πŸ˜€

I think for me it’s the head games, getting past the I don’t knows, the can I do its, and the holy craps. I try to boost myself up, but I think given that I’ve had all this added time on my hands this past week – something I haven’t had in months – it’s more time for me to dwell on the what ifs causing the freak out metre to go into overdrive. It also doesn’t help that I’m feeling a whole lot of phantom pains all throughout my body, my hips, ankles, legs, head, everywhere. And sorry moms, but your hippie glasses just aren’t doing the trick 😦

They're getting me into the REM state, but not taking the stress away. (For more information on the hippie glasses, click here)

Do you freak out before a race?

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7 responses to “Getting my freak on

  1. Oh, I can totally sympathize with freaking out right now! I went out on an 18-mile long run yesterday (I guess that’s….29k?) It was soooo hard at the end, and it took me forever. Plus, my legs and back hurt like MOFOS after!! So now I’m worried that it’s going to take me six hours to run the marathon, that I’m going to give myself stress fractures, that I won’t be able to finish, blah blah blah.

    I feel like our doubts will melt away with the excitement of race day, though. At least, I HOPE. Because I want to feel good about this!

  2. Freak OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ooooooooooooh I loved that photo, I could just feel the terrified tremors of a MAJOR FREAK OUT BURSTING OUTTA YOUR SEAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
    But you’ll calm down πŸ™‚ And race according to plan.
    So let it be written, so let it be done (as Yul Brynner famously said in one of those cheesy Bible Pics where he was the nasty pharoh doing mean things to the Israelites)
    O, Let my children (and Katie) GO!!!!!!!!!! πŸ™‚

  3. I can totally relate Katie, I have not run since the Sunday before last due to some nagging pains/numbness in my leg. I am scared for the marathon too but I know that my training has already prepared me for this run and my time will be what it is. The backup plan is to finish….. upright and smiling πŸ˜‰
    Just trust your training, you will do great!

  4. you are going to be just fine and do just great girl……..keep using the glasses, listen to some of the golf sessions, they will absolutely help you

  5. I’m trying to stay positive but I have to admit I’m starting to feel the terror! Even know I trained for a 4:30 race…I’m wondering if I will be able to finish under 5 hours. With every step I take… and my hamstring aching…I keep saying ….”I just gotta get through this race, just complete the marathon! I think I’ve come to realize…it dosen’t matter….I’m 10% of the population who has trained to run a marathon…that’s a huge accomplishment! Katie, you’ll do fine…if it takes you 4:15 or 5;15 hours – remember you have already accomplished so much! Have a great time and enjoy the race!

  6. Hi there! I had the pleasure of meeting your hubby this morning and he told me about your blog & upcoming race. Best of luck!! πŸ™‚

  7. Pingback: Like night and day |

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